Walking into the local coffee shop this morning, I noticed the large cooler where they sell cold drinks had a shelf of cans with LIQUID DEATH emblazoned on them in large, death-metal blackletter. I assumed it was some alcoholic substance until I took a closer look and saw that it was actually mineral water.

I don’t know what to think. That level of attitude, applied to water? I try to avoid judging people by the brands they prefer, but there’s no way you’d buy such a thing without intending to make a statement of some sort. At least the people who made Death cigarettes could argue it was a warped sort of truth-in-advertising ploy. Trying to pitch overpriced mineral water as a punk-rock, counterculture lifestyle accoutrement is like selling a Marilyn Manson-branded wine rack; nobody who’s actually part of that scene would want to be seen with it.

So I have no idea if this appropriation of gothic morbidity is outsider cynicism, insider irony, or somebody who saw a niche and went for it. The company is apparently worth over half a billion dollars. Whatever the hell it is, it worked.